5 Phrases That Annoy Me

2/13/21 9:46AM

Language is beautiful, and I love words. The right series of words strung together can be as gorgeous to me as all the art in the Louvre. But language is always changing, and it doesn't always change to my liking; sometimes I find it redundant or nonsensical, or just poor in grammar. And I have an old lit degree and a keyboard, and you're here for some reason, so I demand you listen to me. Here are some phrases I dislike.

1. "Make it make sense" - Saying "make" twice makes no sense. Just say... "Make sense". (Make sense?)
2. "Yes and no" - This is a meaningless non-statement, the verbal equivalent of dividing by zero, a paradox. If a waiter asked me if I wanted water, and I said "Yes and no", I'd be looked at very funny. I've heard this phrase be defended as an alternate way to to say "It's complicated", and my reply is... just say that! "Yes and no" or its alternate "It is and it isn't" is just hoity-toity nothingness. Just say what you mean.
3. "First and last" - "Last" is an antonym of "first", because "last" means the end of a series or set, so something cannot simultaneously be the first and last of something. You'll never hear a train conductor say "This is the first and last stop of this train!" What people really mean when they say this is "first and only"
4. "Could care less" - How much less?
5. "Sorry, I'm an [insert astrological sign here]" - Not really a violation of grammar so much as a violation of common sense and decency. Blaming disproven astrological beliefs and the stars and Mars for all of your mistakes is the height of being basic to me. I get it, I used to be into astrology, too...but then I got out of my early 20s.

I felt like there were more that are escaping my mind right now, but I'll just conclude it right here. Speak responsibly, everyone.